“Go to where you are kindest.” ― Jaron Lanier Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now
I’ve had a long and grueling sort of love-hate relationship with social media; with web 2.0 in general. On the one hand, it’s a marvel how we are all able to connect instantly, no matter where we live, to just about anyone we want to. On the other hand, it’s been my observation that those connections are heavily one-sided, shaped by ulterior motives, and generally rob us of the time we’d spend connecting with those closest to us in the real world.
I recall the disappointment I felt on one of my milestone birthdays when the well wishes came to me via “wall posts” on Facebook instead of phone calls or even text. I found this to be lazy and uncaring—obviously my friends didn’t intend that. I vowed that day to not be that guy, and to always reach out directly. Small steps.
Since then I’ve completely deleted Facebook and refuse to be a part of it. In fact, I block it on my home network via Pi-Hole. I’m still on the fence with other platforms. I have an Instagram, but never use it. And yes, I know Instagram is owned by Facebook. I do engage on Twitter some, but it’s starting to test my limits. Which brings me to the above quote—and book—by Jaron Lanier.
I’ve watched his talks and reads quotes from him before, but after seeing him on Netflx’s The Social Dilemma I was compelled to finally grab and read his book. Much of the tech mentioned in the book and motivations of said tech are things I already know and understand. But where I find myself most impacted by Lanier’s plea for us to delete our social media accounts is in regard to how we’re being behaviorally modified by attention-hungry algorithms.
Lanier goes to great lengths to make sound and concise arguments against the use of these productivity suckholes, platforms he refers to as BUMMER—“Behaviors of Users Modified and Made into an Empire for Rent”—platforms. Two of my key takeaways thus far are that these platforms are “turning us into assholes” and similarly robbing us of our ability to truly empathize with others.
I’ve felt it. I’ve experienced it. And over the last year or two, I’ve taken great strides to curtail my inner troll. To not reply or engage with rude people; to just ignore negativity. But the impulse and the urge are always there. Because of that, social media is still on thin ice with me.
So, I chose the above quote as something to reflect on with regards to my time and attention. I always find the positive approach more successful and less of a mind-fuck than the negative. “Go to where you are kindest” feels as though it’s a reward; whereas say, “avoid things that make you shitty” kind of feels like you’re going to miss out on something. And we all know the powerful draw of FOMO.
Read Jaron’s book, and take some time to consider your relationship with social media and its impact on your real world life.